I want my partner to accept me as I am, Petra told me. I have enough adjustments in life. I want to be with people and with a partner who will accept me as I am.
I understand you perfectly, I said. Nobody likes that somebody wants to change them. No one likes to adjust all the time.
But there are a few other things that we need to look at, I added.
For example, look at me. Why am I the way I am? Mostly, because of the way my parents taught me, I grew up in a certain environment, and I was together with my peers. All this shaped me into what I am today.
My parents were wonderful. They gave me everything they could. But. They didn’t know how to have a beautiful relationship.
They were relatively successful in life, however. They worried all the time about money. My mother was afraid of everything in life. What will happen, and what won’t.
And now I am standing here, with my heritage. How does it serve me? I had plenty of troubles in my relationships, hard time in my business. I was fighting and struggling my whole life.
Was I good enough as I was, with my thinking, habits, my character? For myself, for sure. Did it bring me results in life? Was I happy, fulfilled?
Definitely not.
Of course, there is always a question about what do you want. Let’s look at basketball. Do you want to be who you are, play your own game, or do you want to play the game to be the best, to win?
What about a relationship? Do you want to be who you are or do you want to have a happy and beautiful relationship?
Business and your career. You can do it your way or you can learn how to be successful.
You see. Everywhere we need to learn a certain way of thinking, rules, acting, values, and beliefs. Our parents and environment gave us a not very good legacy, unfortunately.
So. “Just be yourself, everyone else is already taken”, is really not good advice. Much better is, become the best version of yourself. Start living your potential, become happy and fulfilled.
You see. It is not about us or the others; it is about life. We are changing because of ourselves, to become the best version of ourselves.
If we are not changing, if we are not growing, we are regressing automatically. This is how the universe works. If you plant roses, you get roses, if you plant nothing, you get weed. The same applies to us, therefore we need to invest in ourselves.
Don’t look for someone who will accept you, look for someone who will want to grow with you, who will be honest and tell you nicely when you stop growing and motivate you to go on.
These are real friends and such is a true partner!
