I would like to put myself first, Jane told me.
I understand, I replied. Let’s have first a look at why you are not already there.
Good question, she replied. Why I am not in the first place? Why do I always have to compromise? Why do I put others first and I am always last?
Maybe, because I don’t appreciate myself, I don’t believe that I am worthy, that things belong to me. Maybe because it is more important to me what others think because I want people to notice, accept, and love me.
I have to put myself first, cut the relationships with all that don’t appreciate me, don’t see my value. I need to speak up about what I feel. I need to do what I feel, she added.
I understand, I said. Why do you think they do not appreciate you? Why don’t they see your value, I asked her.
I don’t know she replied. They are like that.
Maybe also they don’t feel their value, they don’t appreciate themselves, don’t believe in something more. You can give to others only what you have. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t give love to others, I added.
This is true, she replied.
Now you have an option to cut off all this, put yourself first, tell them what you feel about them or you can learn to love yourself first. And then you will see either people around you will change or you will go away, I told her.
I know you want to do this by yourself and you believe you can change yourself. But. If you knew how to do it, you would have done it already lovingly, not with a revolution, don’t you agree?
The first step to show yourself that you love yourself, that you want to put yourself first, is that you allow yourself to be helped. Helped by someone who went already this path and is helping also others to put themselves first.
This is something that you deserve, a gift that you need to give to yourself. If you will try it by yourself, you will send yourself again a message that you are not worthy. I have to do it by myself. Nobody can help me, just means that you are punishing yourself again. Because you are not worthy that somebody would guide you, support you, encourage you. And mentor does this.
If you want to pamper and reward yourself, you don’t cook alone; you go to a great restaurant and enjoy. Because you feel it belongs to you, you put yourself first.
When we go for support, we go for Power that we need. And this is what you need now. To heal wounds of the past and make a new beginning, start a different life. And this means that you put yourself first.