How big is Your Playground?

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Today I would like to share with You a Story from a Playground. We are all big and bigger children. And Children like to play on the playground. The playground is like our Life…

Imagine a group of kids, 3-5 years old, nicely playing in a playground. For a while, everything is calm and quiet. Playing then becomes louder and louder. You are watching it from a safe distance. And then Your Four Year old comes to you crying. “Mama, you know what happened, he took my toy, my toy and he doesn’t want to give it back. Mama, mama, you know what he did to me, you know what just happened.” And he is crying and weeping like it is the end of the world. And it is. It is actually the end. For him, his small world.

How do we handle a situation like this? Because we are not involved in a situation (with rare exception, if our kid was bitten by the neighbor’s child and we also become emotional), we just calm the child down. “Everything will be all right, you will get another toy. There are plenty of toys, don’t worry, everything will be all right.” The child thinks that this was the only toy in the world and there is no other solution, then to get his beloved toy back. There is just no other way. He does not see it. We are not involved in the situation, we have some life experiences and we can see the real picture. Everything can be solved. There are thousands of toys. We will find another, maybe the other kid will get bored with it and give it back, we might buy another one. We are able to see millions of options and solutions, that child on the other side, in his situation, is not able to see it.

Let us jump in time. Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years later. We are the one playing in the playground of Life. And then something happens. We lose our job, partner leaves us, we receive an unexpected bill… And then we start to panic. “My job, my partner, my money. This was the only job, the only partner. I want it back. I can not live without it. There is no other solution. Where can I find that money? There is no money, there are no jobs, nobody is hiring. It is impossible to get a partner. There is no way out, there is no solution.”

There are no options and no solutions? Maybe true. Inside of our playground. Because we are all stuck in the situation and we are not able to see any solution. Somebody else that observes from the distance and is not emotionally involved can see the solutions, options and the way out.

How can we find the way out by yourself, how are we able to see the solution? First, we need to take steps back, to come out, not to be involved. Take a few deep breaths. Calm down your emotions. The emotions make us blind. When we are emotional, we cannot think clearly. Emotions blocks our intuition and we cannot receive ideas, solutions. We need to accept the present situation. Do not fight against it. It looks like it had to happen. We obviously needed this experience. And then we can start to ask ourselves “the right” questions that help us find solutions and the way out.

The Key, as we have seen by our children, is that we are not involved in the situation, that we are able to distance ourselves from the situation. This is the only way that we can find solutions and way out. If we cannot distance ourselves, it is much better to seek for help and to find somebody who is not involved. Advice from an expert, second opinion, it is mostly the fastest way to get results that we want. And then step by step we can learn to see things differently and to handle all Playground situations alone.

Life is our playground. Things are happening. Things that we like and things that we don’t like so much. But we need to know that nothing in Life happens to destroy us, but in order that we can learn and personally grow. Life is our playground and Life is our Teacher. This is our Game. Don’t take it too seriously. Train hard, learn from it, enjoy playing and embrace it every moment.